Saturday 25 May 2019

The Rock Should Be The Next Batman

According to the New York Post, Ben Affleck will no longer play Batman in the DC cinematic universe, leaving a void in the DC flagship franchise. The studio has not officially announced Affleck's departure, as the actor has been in rehab. Batman has long been DC's greatest box office cash machine, from Michael Keaton to Christian Bale.

Fans now want to know, who is going to be the next Batman?



There is simply no better choice than The Rock. You're probably thinking; "hasn't he already been cast to play Black Adam in the DC cinematic universe?" You would be correct, but they have not yet begun production on that role so it's not too late to re-cast this national treasure. The Rock would be much more suitable in the role of Batman. To play the caped crusader, an actor must have the ability to portray a charismatic billionaire by day and terrifying vigilante by night. The character also demands believability operating advanced technology, driving fast cars, and piloting aircraft.

The Rock fits all these criteria and more. We have seen The Rock flex his wings as the lovable yet flawed money manager in the HBO series Ballers. The character of Spencer Strasmore is very comparable to that of Bruce Wayne. Bruce is motivated to fight crime from of a traumatic event in his childhood, with emotional depths that need to be explored. The Rock's incredible speech to the NFL rookies at the end of Ballers season 2 perfectly shows The Rock is capable of reaching the emotional depths never before achieved in previous Batman movies. We have also seen him beautifully mourning the loss of a family member in the movie San Andreas where he talks about the death of his daughter. The Rock was robbed of an Oscar for that performance. 

With The Rock's galactic conquering charisma, he would perfectly embody the dual personality of Bruce Wayne. If cast as Batman, they may need to make some alterations to the origin story. Instead of his parents’ murder encouraging him to fly to Asia to fight people in prisons and learn to be a Ninja, it would be better if it inspired Bruce to start hitting the gym real hard, joining the League of gym rats. Let's face it, The Rock will be bringing more raw power to this role than any actor who has come before him. Years of extensive bicep curls have made his fists faster than a speeding bullet.

The next Batman will also need to show the ability to operate complex machinery and fly the Batwing. The Rock has no shortage of experience in that field. He once angled a helicopter sideways down a narrow canyon to rescue an innocent civilian. The Rock travels around in his in own private jet called the Silver Eagle and I’m comfortable assuming that he pilots that himself. We have also seen him flexing his talent for driving fast cars multiple times in the Fast and Furious franchise, so there’s no doubt that he’ll be fantastic at driving the Batmobile. Clearly The Rock could bring a new level of sophistication in operating the many vehicles the Batman uses.

Batman is master of Martial Arts. The whole point of Batman is that he does not kill people, which was a failure in the Ben Affleck version. Most people might think The Rock is just too muscular to be the Batman and that his punches would simply kill all the bad guys. Perhaps, but if you need evidence of the Rock’s elite ability in hand to hand combat, look no further than the prison breakout scene from Fast 8, where he masterfully fights Jason Statham. In the same movie, he moved a missile with his bare hands. Who else could do that?

The new Batman will have to bravely face a furious roster of villains. The Rock proved that he can fight dangerous giant monstrous creatures like that killer crocodile in the movie Rampage. The Joker lacks the necessary strength to confront The Rock in hand to hand combat and would need to rely on spectacular schemes to have any chance at victory.  It’s unlikely that the Scarecrow’s hallucinogenic fear toxin would affect The Rock. The man is immune to fear.

Batman is supposed to be a symbol of fear to deter evil. If you were to cast a weaker Batman such as Vin Diesel, that would only encourage villains unleash mayhem throughout Gotham. Vin is also too small. They would need to make a smaller Batman suit to fit his smaller muscles. The Rock would strike fear in to the hearts of criminals and Gotham would finally be worth saving.

Movies containing the Batman having been performing poorly at the box office recently and have not received positive critical responses. The only guaranteed path to get that 100% certified fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes that studios crave is to cast The Rock as Batman. Year after year, The Rock has shown that his movies exceed records never before charted at the box office, beloved by fans and critics alike…or at least the critics with good taste. Any poor reviews that there may have been for any of his previous movies reflect poorly on the individual critics. The Rock is on a career trajectory bound to surpass the predefined limits of the known universe. Making him Batman will ensure that the bat signal will shine as a beacon of hope across the galaxy and on to undiscovered civilizations who are in need of salvation.





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